Our therapists provide couples & marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO

Kayla: My go-to approach for helping people in couples/marriage counseling are Gottman-based approaches. Gottman maps it out beautifully, starting at the foundational skills and working up to conflict resolution and appreciation.

Samantha: My go-to approach for couples/marriage counseling combines Gestalt and ACT. I find the best benefit in this blend because it addresses both emotional insight and behavioral change. Gestalt's focus on present-moment awareness complements ACT's emphasis on mindfulness and values clarification. This integrated approach fosters self-awareness, mindfulness, and alignment with shared values, leading to deeper connection and lasting change in the relationship.

Kayla: I teach the following tools in couples/marriage counseling:

• Learning to listen: This seems easy, but individuals can often get in their own heads rather than attempting to see the other person's side of the story
• Love maps: This is a great tool to reconnect with your partner and learn to be friends again

Samantha: I teach the following tools in couples/marriage counseling:

• Effective Communication Skills: Teaching couples techniques for active listening, using "I" statements, and expressing emotions constructively to enhance understanding and reduce conflict.
• Conflict Resolution Strategies: Providing strategies for managing disagreements, negotiating compromises, and finding win-win solutions to conflicts that arise within the relationship.
• Emotional Regulation Techniques: Teaching couples how to identify and regulate their emotions in heated moments, including deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and grounding techniques.
• Couples Dialogue: Introducing structured communication exercises such as the Imago Dialogue or the Gottman-Rapoport Intervention to help couples engage in productive, empathetic conversations and deepen their connection.
• Attachment Exploration: Exploring attachment styles and patterns within the relationship to understand how past experiences may be influencing current dynamics, fostering empathy and promoting secure attachment.
• Values Clarification: Assisting couples in identifying and articulating their individual values and shared goals, helping them align their actions with their values to create a more fulfilling relationship.
• Behavioral Change Strategies: Collaborating with couples to set actionable goals for behavior change, using principles from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to promote committed action towards building a stronger relationship.
• Love Banking: Introducing the concept of "love banking," where couples consciously invest in positive interactions and expressions of love and appreciation to build emotional reserves and strengthen their bond.
• Emotional Ego: Exploring the concept of emotional ego and its impact on relationship dynamics, helping couples recognize and manage their own and their partner's emotional triggers and vulnerabilities.
• Homework Assignments: Providing couples with structured activities or reflections to complete between sessions, reinforcing learning and encouraging ongoing practice of new skills and strategies.

Kayla: I know a couple is making meaningful progress in couples/marriage counseling when a couple shows more appreciation in sessions through words and nonverbals such as light touching.

Samantha: I know couples are making meaningful progress in counseling when they demonstrate the following:

• Improved Communication: The couple shows an enhanced ability to communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully with each other, even during difficult conversations or conflicts.
• Increased Empathy and Understanding: Both partners demonstrate a deeper understanding of each other's perspectives, feelings, and needs, leading to greater empathy and compassion within the relationship.
• Effective Conflict Resolution: The couple employs constructive conflict resolution strategies, such as active listening, compromise, and problem-solving, resulting in the resolution of conflicts with less hostility and more understanding.
• Enhanced Emotional Connection: There is a noticeable increase in emotional intimacy and connection between the partners, characterized by more frequent expressions of affection, support, and appreciation.
• Alignment with Shared Values and Goals: The couple demonstrates alignment with their shared values and goals, making joint decisions that reflect their mutual aspirations and priorities for the relationship.
• Behavioral Changes: Both partners actively engage in implementing behavioral changes and practicing new skills learned in counseling, demonstrating a commitment to personal growth and relationship improvement.
• Increased Relationship Satisfaction: The couple reports higher levels of relationship satisfaction and overall happiness, indicating that they feel more fulfilled and content in their partnership.
• Resilience in the Face of Challenges: The couple exhibits greater resilience and adaptability in navigating challenges and setbacks, demonstrating the ability to bounce back from difficult situations with strengthened trust and connection.

Kayla: Clients can supplement their time in couples/marriage counseling by doing things they did at the beginning of their relationship to identify why they first got together.

Samantha: Clients can supplement their time in couples/marriage counseling with going to individual therapy and practicing mindfulness in order to recognize their own emotional triggers. Additionally couples should engage in activities together, such as date nights, shared hobbies, or attending relationship workshops or retreats: any opportunities for bonding, communication, and creating positive memories.

Kayla: To prepare for your first couples/marriage counseling session, you can write down a few issues in the relationship, ranked from the most impactful to the least impactful, to better identify a priority list for yourself and the counselor.

Samantha: To prepare for your first couples/marriage counseling session, reflect on your relationship goals, gather relevant information, and coordinate schedules with your partner. Approach the process with openness, honesty, and a willingness to be vulnerable. Manage expectations and understand that progress takes time. Keep in mind the counselor is not going to take sides or keep secrets from the other partner.